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It's Friday, tell me a joke

Discussion in 'Mind-less Babel' started by Sushi Boy, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    One day, as a man was finishing his annual physical, the doctor looked at him and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?”

    “Well,” he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”

    “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?”

    “Yeah, and they’re in favor 15 to 2.”
     
    Cajun Diver and Ms KJenn Dives like this.
  2. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    A young British speech therapist was getting nowhere with her “Stammerers Support Group”. She’d tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. No one was improving.

    Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said "If any of you can tell me, without flutter, the name of the town where you were born, I’ll have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water. So, who wants to go first?"

    The Englishman piped up. "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham."

    "That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist. "Who's next?"

    The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".

    “That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish.”

    “How about you, Paddy?”

    The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out "London."

    “Brilliant, Paddy!” said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise. It was a sight to see. After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy inhaled and said,


    "-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".
     
    dutch likes this.
  3. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    A blonde was trying to buy a nice pair of alligator shoes but was having trouble finding just the right fit. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shoe shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!"

    The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, "Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?"

    The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

    He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

    Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.

    Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration: "DAMMIT!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
     
    Ms KJenn Dives likes this.

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