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It's Friday, tell me a joke

Discussion in 'Mind-less Babel' started by Sushi Boy, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    We had a bunch of Thanksgiving leftovers this year. The fridge was absolutely stuffed.

    It was delicious and I couldn’t stop eating it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, nibbling while watching tv, midnight snack. I just kept eating and eating and eating, it was becoming an addiction.

    I finally realized that I just had to quit cold turkey.
     
    Ms KJenn Dives likes this.
  2. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?





    Do you smell carrots?
     
    Cajun Diver likes this.
  3. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

    "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said one, "but we don't have a ladder."

    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.

    One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Get a load of this lady. We ask for the height and she gives us the length."
     
  4. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl said, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

    “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

    “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

    With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

    The girl snapped up the package, turned around and looking at an older lady down one aisle said, “Grandma is paying today.”
     
  5. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    It was mealtime during a United Airlines flight.
    "Would you like to buy a dinner?" the flight attendant asked John.
    "What are my choices?" John said.
    "Yes or no," she replied.
     
  6. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    A young man came running into a store in Mississippi and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

    Bubba replied, “Oh no! Did y’all see who it was?”

    The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license plate number.”
     
    Cajun Diver and Diver_T like this.
  7. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    I was in a hurry the other day and tried to make a square, but I ended up with an octagon. I guess that's what I get for cutting corners.
     

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