1. Welcome to CHUM

    New to CHUM or the CHUM website, visit our: Welcome to CHUM page

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Upcoming Events

    Looking for something to do:

    Upcoming CHUM Events

    Dismiss Notice
  3. Where CHUM Dives

    CHUM dive trips, trip reports, dive buddy board and more:

    Where CHUM Dives

    Dismiss Notice
  4. CHUM Officers

    Questions, Suggestions, Want to Lead a CHUM Trip or Learn about the CHUM Officers? Contact us:

    Your CHUM Board of Directors

    Dismiss Notice
  5. CHUM Facebook

    Like and Follow us:

    CHUM FaceBook

    Dismiss Notice
  6. CHUM Swag

    Get Your CHUM Swag Here. Browse through our own store to pick up great swag for all the ocean lovers and scubadivers you know. Purchasing items supports the club - even if it's not CHUM branded. There are items for everyone so go pick something out today.

    CHUM Swag

    Dismiss Notice
  7. DAM CHUMmers

    Get special CHUM swag by Diving Every Month. Become a

    DAM CHUMmer
    Dismiss Notice
  8. 2018 Canada

    CHUM's Canada Bound. Join us Summer 2018 for:

    Eau Canada
    Dismiss Notice
  9. Philippine Phantasy 2018

    Dive with CHUM as we

    Try to find Nemo. We're off to the Philippines and would love to have you join us.
    Dismiss Notice
  10. February 2018 meeting

    Monthly Meeting, Thursday, February 15th at Jake's Sports Bar. Our speaker is

    Adrienne M.S. Correa, Research Seat Member of the Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Board
    Dismiss Notice
  11. Become A Tiger Shark and More

    Become a full fledged CHUM member by paying only $35/year to become a Tiger Shark, pay for trips or even pick up an extra CHUM T-shirt or CHUM patch here.

    CHUM Payments

    Dismiss Notice

It's Friday, tell me a joke

Discussion in 'Mind-less Babel' started by Sushi Boy, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    We had a bunch of Thanksgiving leftovers this year. The fridge was absolutely stuffed.

    It was delicious and I couldn’t stop eating it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, nibbling while watching tv, midnight snack. I just kept eating and eating and eating, it was becoming an addiction.

    I finally realized that I just had to quit cold turkey.
    Siren and Ms KJenn Dives like this.
  2. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

    Do you smell carrots?
    Siren and Cajun Diver like this.
  3. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

    "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said one, "but we don't have a ladder."

    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.

    One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Get a load of this lady. We ask for the height and she gives us the length."
  4. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl said, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

    “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

    “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

    With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

    The girl snapped up the package, turned around and looking at an older lady down one aisle said, “Grandma is paying today.”
  5. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    It was mealtime during a United Airlines flight.
    "Would you like to buy a dinner?" the flight attendant asked John.
    "What are my choices?" John said.
    "Yes or no," she replied.
  6. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    A young man came running into a store in Mississippi and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

    Bubba replied, “Oh no! Did y’all see who it was?”

    The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license plate number.”
    Siren, Cajun Diver and Diver_T like this.
  7. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    I was in a hurry the other day and tried to make a square, but I ended up with an octagon. I guess that's what I get for cutting corners.
  8. McLOT

    McLOT Tiger Shark


    Siren, dutch and Sushi Boy like this.
  9. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

  10. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    I Googled "Rorschach Test" but all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting.
  11. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment, one of them asks him how he managed to land such a hot 23-year-old beauty.

    “Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age.”

    His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he said.

    “Well,” he replies, “I told her I was 87.”
    Siren likes this.
  12. Sushi Boy

    Sushi Boy DAM CHUMmer

    Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.
    Ms KJenn Dives, dutch and Heidi Ho like this.
  13. McLOT

    McLOT Tiger Shark

    Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.
    Ms KJenn Dives and Sushi Boy like this.

Share This Page