Hump Day Humor

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
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Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
When a wealthy husband passed, he left $30,000 for an "elaborate funeral."

After the service, a friend asked where all the money went.

The widow explained: “$6,500 for the funeral, $500 to the church, $500 for the wake… and the rest went toward the memorial stone.”

Her friend gasped, “The memorial stone cost $22,500?! My God, how big is it?”

The widow smiled and said, “About four and a half carats.”
 

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
Yesterday, two humpback whales were swimmimg along in the South Pacific Ocean when they saw some humans kicking around in the water with tubes in their mouths.

The first whale looked at the second whale and said "what the heck is going on over there? This is normally such a calm, beautiful ocean."

The second whale said, "Don't you know? The water's always more exciting with CHUM in it!"
 

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, "All right, I've got your 70 sheep back in the east pen."

The farmer replies, "What!? I have 67 sheep, not 70!"

The sheepdog gives him a withering look and says, "I know. I rounded them up."
 

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
Little known fact: despite what some translations of the nativity story say, there were originally FOUR wise men. They brought the baby Jesus gifts of gold, frankincense, myrrh, and nickel - but Mary gave the fourth one his nickel back, and that’s why he never made it as a wise man.
 
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