• Two for the Price of One
    Join us for 3rd Thurs With CHUM on June 18st at the usual time of 7:30 pm CT at Jake's Sports Bar or Zoom. We will be joined by Jenny Stock from NOAA's Greater Farallones and Cordell Bank National Marine Sanctuaries! More details at this link.
  • 2nd Sunday w/ CHUM
    Join us for 2nd Sunday with CHUM on June 14th at 10:00am CT on Bowling Beach at Blue Lagoon! More details at this link.
  • CHUM stickers are here! Put one on your scuba tank, your gear box, your car, your forehead. See a club officer to get yours.
  • Become a full fledged CHUM member by paying only $35/year to become a Tiger Shark, pay for trips or even pick up an extra CHUM T-shirt or CHUM patch here: CHUM Payments.
  • For CHUM's list of greater Houston area dive shops, dive sites, and dive charter operators see this link.
  • CHUM - Houston's SCUBA Club is the sponsor of the Texas SCUBA Diver license plate. Get yours at MyPlates.com!
  • Stream2Sea! Great products that are good for humans and the reef. Use the affiliate link below or check out with coupon code “chumrocks” and get 10% off your purchase. Click this CHUM affiliate link to order your products.
  • Follow CHUM on these platforms to keep up with what the club has going on Facebook, Instagram, Scubaboard, and YouTube.

    And for Texas Dive Plates: TDP Facebook and TDP Instagram.

  • Questions, suggestions, want to lead a CHUM trip or learn about the CHUM officers? Contact us: Your CHUM Board of Directors.

Hump Day Humor

Heidi Ho

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage...

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Only driven from time to time.
 
Heidi Ho

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
A man walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" The man explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The man smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
 
Heidi Ho

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
A woman in a jewelry story was admiring a big ring. As she leaned down for a closer look, a little toot slipped out. Hoping no one noticed, she said "How much is that one?"

The jeweler said "Madam, if you farted looking at it, you'll shit yourself when I tell you the price"
 
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Heidi Ho

Heidi Ho

CHUM Fan
First Name
Holly
A man walked up to the widow at a funeral.
He asked "would you mind if a said a word?"
"I think that would be lovely" she replied.
He walked to the front of the church, cleared his throat, said "bargain" and sat back down.
The widow went over to him and said "thank you, that means a great deal".
 
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