- First Name
- Jennifer
File this one under "Americans will use anything but the metric system" lol
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2nd Sunday w/ CHUM
Join us for 2nd Sunday with CHUM on June 14th at 10:00am CT on Bowling Beach at Blue Lagoon! More details at this link. -
CHUM stickers are here! Put one on your scuba tank, your gear box, your car, your forehead. See a club officer to get yours.
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Become a full fledged CHUM member by paying only $35/year to become a Tiger Shark, pay for trips or even pick up an extra CHUM T-shirt or CHUM patch here: CHUM Payments.
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For CHUM's list of greater Houston area dive shops, dive sites, and dive charter operators see this link.
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CHUM - Houston's SCUBA Club is the sponsor of the Texas SCUBA Diver license plate. Get yours at MyPlates.com!
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Stream2Sea! Great products that are good for humans and the reef. Use the affiliate link below or check out with coupon code “chumrocks” and get 10% off your purchase. Click this CHUM affiliate link to order your products.
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Follow CHUM on these platforms to keep up with what the club has going on Facebook, Instagram, Scubaboard, and YouTube.
And for Texas Dive Plates: TDP Facebook and TDP Instagram.
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Questions, suggestions, want to lead a CHUM trip or learn about the CHUM officers? Contact us: Your CHUM Board of Directors.
It's Friday, tell us a joke
- Thread starter Sushi Boy
- Start date
couv
Nurse Shark
- First Name
- Robert
We cannot give in to the metric system. The next thing will be the way we write dates.
Ms KJenn Dives
Tiger Shark
- First Name
- Brenda
- First Name
- Roger
Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He's met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed however. As Forrest approaches the gatekeeper, St. Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We've heard a lot about you. I should inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions:
1. What days of the week begin with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you've had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one - how many days of the week begin with the letter T? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but....you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded St. Peter says,"Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second....."
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
Forrest replies, "Oh sure. It's Andy."
"OK, OK," says a frustrated St. Peter, "I guess I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in God's name did you come up with the name Andy as that answer?"
"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replies. "I learned it from the song..... 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' "
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions:
1. What days of the week begin with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you've had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one - how many days of the week begin with the letter T? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but....you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded St. Peter says,"Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second....."
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
Forrest replies, "Oh sure. It's Andy."
"OK, OK," says a frustrated St. Peter, "I guess I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in God's name did you come up with the name Andy as that answer?"
"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replies. "I learned it from the song..... 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' "
- First Name
- Roger
I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
As I was about to leave, I thought that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.