It's Friday, tell us a joke

[Sushi Boy]

I failed my driver's test today.

The instructor asked me, "what do you do at a red light?"

I replied, "usually check Twitter and also see what people are up to on Facebook."

 

[couv]

I replied, "usually check Twitter and also see what people are up to on Facebook."

...you should have added, "While driving through the red light."

 

[Sushi Boy]

The Beastie Boys are releasing a 5 part anthology.

Parts A-D are free.

You have to fight for your right to Part E.

 

[Sushi Boy]

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chickpeas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chickpeas can hummus one.

 

[McLOT]

 

[McLOT]

I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six squirrels in a suitcase by the side of the road.


"Are they moving?" asked the operator.


"Not sure" I replied "But that would explain the suitcase".

 

[McLOT]

 

[Sushi Boy]

It's really unfortunate that Islam, Judaism and Christianity have been fighting each other for centuries. Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

 

[McLOT]

 

[McLOT]

 

[Sushi Boy]

 

[Sushi Boy]

Why was Cinderella bad at soccer?

She ran away from the ball.

 

[Bubblehead]

Where is the Groan emoji?

 

[McLOT]

 

[Sushi Boy]

Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?


So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

 

[VanessaArrrr]

 

[Sushi Boy]

The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water.

Therefore, the Earth is flat.

 

[McLOT]

 

[Sushi Boy]

I got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuza mixed up.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

 

[McLOT]